


Dear Waverly

by whenihavetime



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: 4x02, Angst, F/F, I mean... it's really just Nicole, Love Letters, but she's addressing/talking about everyone else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:07:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25738540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whenihavetime/pseuds/whenihavetime
Summary: VAGUE SUMMARY TO AVOID 4x02 SPOILERSNicole writes letters to Waverly as she waits
Relationships: Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 18
Kudos: 130





	1. Valentine's Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I am Wayhaught trash, and I couldn't wait for answers in the next episode. Who cares if my fic will be immediately invalidated by Sunday.

Dear Waverly,

Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.

I know this is different from my usual texts, but I can’t take another “unable to send” message, and I filled up your voicemail inbox a week ago. Call me old-fashioned, but a letter makes my words feel so much more real. If I can’t ~~see~~ ~~feel~~ have you with me, then let my pen to paper be the closest thing. 

My leg is on the mend. I’m able to get around without crutches now, but it’s still ~~frustrating~~ difficult to go up and down the stairs. I managed to hobble around enough to pick some flowers for you. Roses aren’t exactly in bloom around the Homestead, so I hope phlox will do. They smell really nice and remind me of your perfume. I even got you some of those vegan chocolates you like. You’ll have to thank Rachel for that since I can’t exactly drive into town with my cast. I convinced her to buy a little extra something that I hope you'll like. No spoilers though. You'll get to see what it is when you return. 

I think you’ll really like Rachel. She reminds me of Wynonna in that snarky, secretly ~~vulnerable~~ a softie sort of way. I hope Wynonna has found you and Doc by now. I have no doubt she will. God, I miss you, baby. I miss you all, even your sister. I haven’t found the strength to enter ~~your~~ our room. ~~I’m afraid~~ I don’t want to see the unmade bed we woke up in, mere hours before I lost you. It ~~fucking~~ hurts to even think about it. I’ve taken to sleeping on the couch, and Rachel has commandeered Wynonna’s room. I think she’s dug up five bottles of whiskey already. I’m thinking I’ll crack one open tonight for you. 

Please come back to me soon, Waves. 

Love,  
Nicole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say hi on my Tumblr [when-i-have-time](https://when-i-have-time.tumblr.com/) to cry over Wayhaught ;_;


	2. Alice's Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna be rapid-firing these chapters to hopefully finish this fic by Sunday's episode

Dear Waverly,

I thought the first letter was a one-and-done deal, but I had a sudden urge to commemorate this day. Somewhere out there, ~~beyond~~ safe outside the Ghost River Triangle, Alice Michelle turns one year old. I wonder how Wynonna is dealing with it right now. Is she with you and Doc now? Can you even tell what day it is? Even though I was half-asleep during Bible Study, I doubt there’s an excess of calendars in the Garden of Eden. 

Well, I know if Wynonna were ~~home~~ here, she’d either be drinking her weight in alcohol or sparring her frustrations out. ~~Or both.~~ Probably both. Once you're all back, we can get Alice. Wynonna and Doc will be able to watch their daughter grow up. Wow, I find myself really missing Wynonna now. She's become the closest friend I’ve made. I even called her my best friend. I’m sure she’s gotten a kick out of it telling you. But, hey, it’s what you always wanted, right? For your ~~girlfriend~~ ~~fiancé~~ girlfriend and sister to get along? 

Anyway, I lit a candle in a cupcake for Alice at dinner. Rachel gave me some weird looks, but she didn’t question it. She’s been such a great help. Now that my leg is ~~better~~ fully healed, I don’t need her around 24/7. Yet, she continues to stick by my boring ass. (For all her lone-wolf shtick, I think she secretly likes having people around.) 

I know we’ve talked about having kids one day. You want at least two – a boy and a girl. We spent an entire night discussing names, and you were still muttering options as you fell asleep. Not to steal Wynonna’s thunder, but celebrating Alice’s birthday just reminded me of that. That, or all the time I’ve been spending with Rachel. Hey, Waves, have you heard of the one where the small-town lesbian sheriff adopts the orphaned teenager? 

Maybe, I’m getting ahead of myself. We haven’t even gotten married yet. If there’s one thing I regret, it’s not saying yes to you right then and there. ~~I hope you still want to.~~ If I could go back, I would say yes a thousand times over and more. And, since I threw Julian’s ring after Wynonna, I don’t even have your ~~last~~ most recent gift to me. Though, I have to admit that thing was an ugly sight. Would it be too presumptuous if I bought actual rings for us when you get back? 

Always thinking of you,  
Nicole


	3. Waverly's Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point, I'm not even editing these

Dear Waverly,

Happy birthday, my love! 

How I wish I could be celebrating beside you. I went into your room for the first time since ~~I lost~~ you went missing. I’m ashamed to say I broke down the moment I stepped through the door. Everything was exactly the same, like you neve left. Even your scent still permeated the air. Rachel came ~~home~~ back and sat with me on the floor, while I finished another one of Wynonna’s whiskey bottles. Don’t worry. I didn’t let her drink any, much to her chagrin. Still gotta uphold what’s left of the law around here.

You’ve been gone for 264 days. In the beginning, I could imagine you walking through the door with a bounce in your step, Wynonna’s swagger and Doc’s steady stride right behind. It felt like a possibility any day. But, as the summer months went by, those fantasies started to hurt more and more. Lately, I’ve been pushing such thoughts to the back of my mind in order to get through the day. It makes it easier, but ~~I’m afraid~~ I don’t want to stop thinking of you – your smile, your laugh, your touch, your spirit– for a second. 

Do you remember last year? I took you to that fancy Mediterranean restaurant in the big city. Afterward, we strolled for hours through the park. Then, we came home and… I don’t think I need to write the details. That was a peaceful day. No revenants, no demons, no face-stealing monsters, just the two of us doing normal couple things. I know all the supernatural-ness makes our lives so unique, but what I would give for an ordinary day. 

I miss you, Waverly. Hurry back because now you have 2 presents waiting for you! Again, no spoilers. You’ll have to see for yourself. 

Love,  
Nicole

P.S. CJ ~~keeps meowing at your door~~ wishes you a happy birthday too!


	4. Wynonna's Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Wynhaught brotp as a treat

Dear Wynonna,

Happy birthday, you crazy chick without a gun.

~~I hope~~ You’ll be glad to know I’m looking after the Homestead in your absence. I haven’t mentioned this in any of Waverly’s letters, but shit is ~~really bad~~ hitting the fan in Purgatory. It started a few months after you hurled yourself into the gateway. My leg took some time to heal, so I couldn’t see for myself until after the cast came off. There were whispers of a new big-wig demon. I didn’t know what we were up against until it was too late. 

It wore ~~Wav~~ her face, Wyn. It looked just like I last saw her. It had her voice, but not her words. I let myself believe she was actually back, despite my body screaming that something was wrong. If Rachel and I hadn’t replaced the wards, I would’ve led ~~her~~ that thing right back to the Homestead. While it can’t cross the property line, its human followers can. I caught two of them trying to sneak in one night. Turns out my nightmares came in handy because I was wide awake when they broke in. The walls may have some new bullet holes though. 

Rachel and I have set up alarms and tripwires around the fence line. We’ve had a couple more attempted trespassers, but nothing we couldn’t handle. The kid’s a good shot. Once I taught her about proper gun safety, that is. I guess you already experienced that first-hand though when she was sniping at your head. Miss you, Wynonna. 

This new demon is bad news. I tried to keep order in Purgatory for as long as possible, but they overran the police department. Most people up and left, and whoever voices their disagreement with the new authority is hanged in the street. It’s ~~batshit~~ insane. Nedley is a little worse for wear but relatively okay. He and Chrissy are keeping a low-profile. We all are. Well, except for Mercedes. I’m not quite sure what her game plan is, but she always finds her way out of sticky situations, so I’m not too worried about her. Still no word from Jeremy, Robin, or Kate. ~~I don’t know what to do.~~ I could really use your help. I can only hope you’re out there (up there?) by our angel’s side, looking out for each other. 

Oh, also there’s a present waiting for you. I’ve been buying Waverly gifts for Valentine’s Day and her birthday, and I thought it was only fair I got you one too ~~or you’d never let me hear the end of it~~ Don’t make a big thing out of it. You can thank me in person. So, get your shit together, Earp. Bring our people home. 

Your best friend,  
Nicole


	5. Anniversary

My dearest Waverly,

It’s been two years since that fateful day in Nedley’s office. The day that kickstarted the adventure of a lifetime. The day I can pinpoint as the best moment of my life and all the moments after. I just wish 303 of those days weren’t spent ~~without you~~ apart. 

Last week, I managed to spend a night in our room. The couch was really starting to hurt my back. Well, technically, I managed to spend the five hours I got some shuteye. I dream of you in my arms again. Your warmth. I can hear you now, scolding me for the lack of sleep. Trust me, baby, I’ve tried. But, ~~the nightmares~~ I need to keep watch. I need to protect the Homestead. It’ll be in perfect condition by the time you return. CJ has already made herself at home on the bed. ~~At least, one of us can.~~

Rachel could tell I was off today. I’ve already told her so much about you, Wynonna, and Doc, but it’s ~~difficult~~ a different story to open up about myself. These letters help me process the especially difficult days. Days like this. 

I bought you another present ~~to add to the pile~~. They’re waiting for you on your desk. How about this. When we see each other again, we get multiple cakes for each birthday/anniversary that’s passed. We deserve to indulge a little. And, I promise to take you out on the most extravagant date yet. 

I need you, Waves. 

All my love,  
Nicole


	6. Christmas

Dear Waverly,

Merry Christmas!

I chopped down a small tree to decorate. It’s not the prettiest thing, but it’ll do. I even put the menstruangle on top, which Rachel gave me shit for. We strung lights and tinsel all around the house, just like last year. Remember that? We were all together, eating your mother’s cooking. Julian was still Charlie. Doc was still human. Wynonna was still ~~a pain in the~~ Wynonna. Nedley had just announced me as the next sheriff. You surprised me with that adorable, sexy dance. I’m not one to usually wax poetic, but your laughter from that day rings in my ears. It’s the most ~~heavenly~~ ~~musical~~ beautiful ~~sound~~ melody I’ve ever heard. 

The other week, I almost forgot. ~~It was terrifying.~~ I tried to imagine your laugh when I cracked a joke, and it didn’t sound right. I panicked for a solid hour, crying over the fact that I was beginning to forget you. ~~I already lost you.~~ I can’t lose the memory of you ~~too~~. 

I’ve permanently moved back into our room now. That’s a place full of memories. Your scent is still on your side of the bed. ~~If I’m tired enough~~ Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can picture you lying next to me. All of your blankets (and bonus blankets) are still at the foot of the bed. Sorry, baby, but I haven’t been able to use all of them. I just run too warm, I guess. CJ likes nesting in them though. 

I bought you, Wynonna, and Doc presents. They’re sitting under the sad excuse for a Christmas tree. I swear that thing will shed its needles by the week’s end. Rachel and I had a little gift exchange and drank some eggnog. Cheered to your safe return. She even made some little handmade trinkets for you all. I’ve definitely talked her ear off enough that she feels like she knows you. 

Oh, and I forced CJ to wear a Santa hat long enough to take a photo. I ~~want~~ would normally send it to you, but as we both know, that never works. I’ve actually been taking a lot of photos recently, documenting stuff I think you’d find interesting or funny. I’ll be sure to tell you every story behind each one. Come back to me soon, so I can hear that laugh again, okay?

Love,  
Nicole


	7. New Year's Day

Dear Waverly,

Happy New Years!

Last night, I did the traditional countdown, indulged in some whiskey. Rachel got some firecrackers, and she’s discovered a new hobby in kombucha brewing. Honestly, it doesn't taste too bad. Another thing for you to look forward to. We could even see some of the fireworks in the next city over, but it’s impossible to consider this as a celebration. It just means more time away from you. 

For a brief moment, I was enjoying myself. I was more than a little drunk, sitting by a bonfire and watching Rachel run around the yard with sparklers. I could even laugh without it ringing hollow. But immediately after, ~~I felt guilty~~ I realized you weren’t here to enjoy it with me. ~~It’s torture~~ ~~I fucking hate it~~ I miss you every second of every day. Please, come back soon.

The Christmas decorations are still up. I think I’ll keep them there for your return since this holiday season is your favorite. Unfortunately, the tree is on its last ~~legs~~ limbs. Ha, get it? I’ll have to get rid of it soon, or else CJ will start gnawing on the pine needles. She’s such a house cat, I swear. She refuses to go beyond the porch and glares at me through the window when I’m outside too long. 

I know New Years isn’t exactly a time of gift-giving, but I bought you one anyway. I’ve relocated the Christmas presents with the others in our room. You’re really amassing a stockpile, babe. ~~They keep track of the months~~ Did I mention I made sure to use different wrapping paper? Just to make them easier to distinguish: hearts for Valentine’s Day, party hats for your birthday, stars for our anniversary, holly for Christmas, and snowflakes for New Years. (I found some with flowers and alcohol for Alice’s and Wynonna’s birthdays. I think you can guess which is which.) Hope you like them. 

A nasty blizzard is coming tomorrow, so Rachel and I have been stockpiling food and weapons. I’m sure I’ll need your bonus blankets then. I just wish you were here to keep me warm too. Is the Garden lush with green and sunshine like we’re led to believe? I’d like to think it is, so you aren’t cold. Wherever you are right now, I hope you’re okay. ~~Hurry back~~ Take all the time you need to safely return to me. Until then, I won’t fully welcome in the new year without you. 

Love,  
Nicole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added that kombucha detail after that sneak peek XD


	8. Interlude

Dear Waverly,

It’s been 365 days. One year since I last laid eyes on you. A whole year since your sister leapt into the Garden after you and left me and Rachel in a zombie-infested basement. For some reason, it felt more manageable when it was less than a year. 365 days could be seen as a marker of sorts. “Oh, they’ll be back within a year.” Hopeful thinking I guess. 

I ventured into the woods and found the stairs. Froze my ass off but I found them. I went in the hopes of seeing you there, descending in a heavenly light and running into my arms. I sat on those stone steps for hours. Nearly fell through the archway several times trying to walk through a nonexistent portal. ~~The Garden is a dick.~~

It feels like I’m stepping into unknown territory here, Waves. ~~When will I see you again?~~ As you can see, I’m counting down the days. I really hope there aren't many more. At this point, I’m going through the motions, trying to be there for Rachel, trying to protect the Homestead. ~~I’m tired.~~ I miss you. 

Love,  
Nicole

* * *

Earp,

Where ~~the fuck~~ are you? It’s been a full year, and I don’t know how much more I can take. It’s extremely risky to go into town now. Rachel and I are holed up on the Homestead. We get a couple trespassers daily. Purgatory has certainly earned its name. We could really use some backup. 

My letters to Waverly are rather sparse because I don’t want to worry her ~~as though she’ll actually read them.~~ I was so stupid today. I left the safety of the Homestead to find the stairs to the Garden, like I wrote in my other letter. What I didn’t tell Waverly was that I resorted to my half-assed plan B when that didn’t work. I took half the gun supply, armored up, and drove back to the BBD lab. Went full Rambo. I even made it halfway to the basement before alerting the zombies. Only, when I got there, the stupid machine didn’t work. ~~I wanted to scream~~ All I got for it was a piece of shrapnel to the shoulder and the silent treatment from Rachel. She said I pulled a Wynonna. You’d be proud. 

I’m barely sleeping. I startle at every sound. I'm such a mess, and I almost don't want Waverly to see me like this. ~~I’m afraid~~ I’m worried I’ll spend the rest of my days waiting ~~for your stupid face.~~ Please, Wyn, get home safe. 

Miss you,  
Nicole


	9. Valentine's Day II

Dear Waverly,

Happy Valentine’s Day ~~again~~!

I hate to spend another one without you, my love. Sorry to say but I couldn’t get you a present or box of chocolates this year. Forgive me, baby. I promise I’m not slacking. I try not to leave the Homestead for too long. Rachel is certainly capable of handling herself, but it’s hard enough for the two of us to look after 10 acres of land. I promise to make it up to you in all the kisses in the world. I promise anything you want. ~~Just promise me not to leave again.~~ I did pick you some more flowers though. They’re in a vase on the kitchen counter. 

It’s been over a year since I last saw you, and ~~God does it hurt~~ it’s the worst. Every day feels simultaneously further away and closer to you. Maybe, tomorrow will be it. Maybe, tomorrow will be the last day of waiting, holed up here with a teenager, a cat, and a shit ton of weapons. Yet, the cop side of me says the more time away reduces the possibility of returning to you. ~~Don’t let that be true.~~ But, this is Purgatory. This is Wynonna motherfucking Earp we’re talking about, and there’s no way in hell she’d ever abandon her baby sister. Surely, she’s found you by now, right? Surely, you, Wynonna, and Doc are trekking your way through the Garden? Surely, we’ll be reunited soon ~~right?~~

I could really use you by my side, Waves. You remember our sorry party after Alice was sent away? And, after Jolene? We should have the opposite when you get back. Guess that would be a not sorry party? That’s not right… We’ll think of something better. What I mean is one giant party to catch up on all the holidays spent apart. I can get unicorn balloons again. I’d even risk going into town for them. ~~I’d risk anything for you.~~ Get home safe.

All my heart,  
Nicole


	10. Epilogue: Reunion

Waverly,

572 days. 

It feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest. I was prepared for many things upon your return, but you not experiencing the same torturous wait was not one of them. Hair extensions, baby? That was your first conclusion? You’re so adorable. On the bright side, at least, one of us didn’t have to go through that. ~~I’m a little envious.~~ At least, the Garden spared you of all those lonely nights. This is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. 

As I stare at you now, sleeping peacefully beside me in our bed, the dawn casting an angelic glow on your face, I have to pinch myself to convince myself this is real. That you’re real. That we really did _that_ practically in the front door – against the wall, on the floor, on the _stairs._ That was certainly a first. ~~One I would not mind repeating.~~ I honestly don’t know whether to keep kissing you senseless or start weeping. 

Your presents are still sitting across from us on the desk. You probably didn’t notice though, as you were quite distracted last night. We both were. All of my other letters are there too, but even as I write this one, I’m a little hesitant to show you. ~~Isn’t it pathetic?~~ They contain my moments of desperation, of heartbreak, of frustration (probably, more so in Wynonna’s). No, you deserve to read them. We promised each other a long time ago to show all parts of ourselves: the good, the bad, the ugly. ~~I just don’t want them to make you cry.~~

I have so much to tell you, so much to catch you up on. I haven’t gone into the details about the state of Purgatory because I didn’t want the imaginary Waverly reading my unsent letters to worry. I’m sure you have plenty to tell me as well, but there will be time for that later. You didn’t appear concerned about Wynonna or Doc’s whereabouts, so I can only assume they’re safe and wisely giving us space. Oh, man, poor Rachel. I slightly regret leaving our clothes downstairs now. Slightly. The Universe can give us a few hours of respite. We deserve that much. 

Forever yours,  
Nicole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All righty, just wanted to get this quick self-indulgent fic out. Ready for tonight, Earpers? Because I'm not!


End file.
